Going Through a Divorce? Here are the top 7 Mistakes when getting Divorced and how to avoid them:
Mistake 1: Get caught in the Blame Cycle
For many the following questions keep circulating: "How could they do that? "Somehow, someway, I'll get even..." "How could I be so stupid?" "How can I make it on my own?”. More insights can be found on the Facebook.com - Going Through a Divorce Fanpage.
Focusing on these questions and trying to find answers is just keeping you stuck in your past. It’s like constantly scratching at a scab, the pain only gets worse. The only way, is to leave it alone and move on and create your future. For more information, one can watch the YouTube.com - Going Through a Divorce video as well.
Mistake 2: Confuse Being Alone with Being without Yourself
When you go through a divorce it is disorientating, you have always been a couple and now you are single after years of being with a partner. They become like the invisible shadow that follows you around. Where they used to sit, where their clothes hung in the closet, the empty space in your bed. It's a loss unlike any other. You feel so alone.
But not you aren’t really alone, are you? You are always with yourself, and you are the only one that will always be there - no matter what. The quality of your life is completely dependent on the quality of your relationship with yourself.
When last did you connect with YOU? Are you avoiding yourself? Take this time to reconnect with yourself, set up a new ritual at a time during the day to connect with YOU again. Thirty minutes is best, but take at least fifteen minutes to mediate or just sit yourself. Be present with you.
Mistake 3: Being a Tough Cookie
You keep telling yourself that you can get through this on your own, you just need time. If you can get through each day, then you are bound to start feeling better. You may be isolating yourself.
Reading or listening to personal growth books, hoping that somehow these positive feelings can stick. By refusing to get some kind of help, you prolong your misery and you don't get the support you need.
You probably spent so many miserable years before your divorce and now want the SUPER HIGHWAY TO HAPPINESS, and you do this with the help of a coach. Using your lawyer as a therapist is a very expensive way not to get the help you need. Your lawyer is trained in the law and not in helping you navigate your emotions.
Only you can decide what kind of help is best for you, but getting help is important. You need someone else to help wake you up, give you action steps to getting over your divorce and keeping you accountable, because you are basically right now you are sleepwalking through your life.
Mistake 4: “Think, Speak and Repeat” - the Recipe for Misery
Have you noticed how often you think about your present circumstance? How much time do you spend thinking about what you could, would, or should, have said to your ex?
These thoughts and dialogs run non-stop, and your get stuck in an endless loop of fear, anger, regret and heartache.
Yes, it’s hard, but until you choose to accept your life exactly as it is, you are going to bake your misery recipe every day. When you control what you say to yourself and you control your life.
Mistake 5: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who's the Rightest One of All?
This question might provide an answer you are not expecting. When you are attached to being right, you live in the past and hang on to what was or what could have been. If you remain unwilling to see your marriage differently, you continue to give your power to away. The bittersweet reality of being righteous, is that you limit your access to all of your positive emotions. When you are willing to own your part in marriage breakdown, you take your power back.
So decide today to let bygones be bygones and move forward into the future.
Mistake 6: Labelling your family as “broken”
I often hear people refer to divorced homes as “broken”, I’d like to state very clearly, they are not broken With about 40% of divorces involve children, it is hardly an exception. It is just another form of a family unit. Its up to you to create the meaning of your family unit. If you look at your family as “broken” or “ruined” then so will your children. This can have profound effect on how they imagine the future for themselves. Your children can live and grow in a healthy family with one parent, who honors and respects the new kind family unit that you have become.
Define for yourself what your new family structure is, and how having it this way is going to serve you now and in the future.
Mistake 7: Not thinking about your financial future
You may not know exactly what your financial position is. This is especially true for those who have been stay-at-home parents or out of the workforce for a while. So make sure that you know the value is of your assets - including any insurance policies and any hidden assets. Know what impact the divorce may have on your taxes. Know what rules apply to your retirement savings.
Know exactly what your monthly expenses are and how the divorce may impact them.
Get the advice of a financial planner so that you can see how you can afford being divorced and are able to plan effectively for your future post your divorce.
Company Name: Abraham Enterprises
Contact Person: David Abraham
Email:Send Email
Phone: 800-351-5976
Country: United States
Website: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Going-Through-a-Divorce/252851821584909
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